The Glory of Christ in Marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7)
Up to this point in 1 Peter, the apostle Peter has outlined the life that exiles are called to live in this world. The overarching theme has been one of submission—submission to governing authorities, submission to masters, and submission even in the midst of suffering.
But submission is not a passive act; it is an active response to the gospel, demonstrating the believer’s submission to God. As believers, we are called to live in a way that reflects Christ’s submission, who submitted to the Father’s will for our sake. And the apostle argues that it is through our submission that we reflect God’s glory to the world.
In 1 Peter 3:1-7, the apostle extends this call to submission into the context of marriage. However, Peter doesn’t give a practical “how-to” guide for marriage. Instead, he directs believers to Christ as the ultimate example of submission and love.
Marriage, in this sense, is not merely a practical institution, but a theological one. Through marriage, we can see the glory of Christ revealed, especially in how husbands and wives are called to relate to one another. The dynamics of marriage: submission, sacrifice, and honor, are all reflections of the gospel and our relationship with Christ.
The Reflection of Christ in Our Submission (v. 1-6)
Peter begins by addressing wives, specifically urging them to submit to their husbands. Submission is a concept that has often been misunderstood, so Peter’s words require careful attention.
He writes, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands…” (v. 1). This is not a call to inferiority, silence, or oppression, but to a willing, God-honoring submission that reflects Christ’s submission to the Father. Just as Christ submitted His will to the Father for our sake, so wives are called to submit to their husbands for God’s sake.
We should note that this is not a blanket call for women to submit to all men, but specifically to submit to their own husbands, displaying their submission to God. We must not lose sight of the indicative here. Just as Jesus submitted to His Father, we, as children of God, are called to reflect that submission in our relationships. God is our Father, and everything we understand in this text must be grounded in this personal, relational context.
Submission Flows from Christ (v. 1)
The call to submit in marriage is directly linked to Christ’s submission. In verse 21 of chapter 2, Peter referenced Christ’s submission to the Father’s will, and now, in verse 1, he calls wives to submit to their husbands for the sake of God. This submission is not dependent on the worthiness of the husband (just as the submission to governmental and social authority isn’t dependent on their worthiness) but is instead an act of obedience to God.
Wives are called to submit not because their husbands are perfect or deserve it, but because submission is an expression of obedience to God. Peter is not calling wives to submit to harmful or abusive behavior, but rather to honor their husbands as the God-given heads of the household, just as Christ honored the Father by submitting to His will. This submission is a reflection of Christ’s humble and sacrificial love, and it serves to glorify God.
Submission Displays Christ (v. 2-4)
In this section, Peter continues by explaining how the submission of a wife is not just a personal or cultural obligation, but a powerful testimony to the gospel.
Her submission displays Christ to the watching world, first through her behavior, then through her identity. This profoundly mirrors the gospel, as the submission of the Church to Christ is not a passive or forced submission but an active response to His sacrificial love.
Submission Displays Christ in Behavior (v. 2-3)
Peter begins by explaining that a wife’s submission is primarily displayed in her behavior: “when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (v. 2).
This behavior is the outward expression of an inward reality—the woman’s respect for her husband and her commitment to living a life that reflects Christ. Notice that Peter emphasizes pure conduct, which means that submission is not just about outward obedience but about living in a way that genuinely reflects Christ’s love and holiness.
The submission displayed in behavior is attractive because it is grounded in something deeper than mere external actions or outward beauty. It is the result of an inner purity, a heart that seeks to honor God. It is a gentle submission, not out of fear or weakness, but as an active trust in God’s sovereignty and goodness. Just as Christ’s submission to the Father led to His glorification, the wife’s submission can serve as a powerful witness to her husband’s heart and the watching world.
Peter highlights that submission in marriage, in the form of behavior, becomes an attractive testimony to the gospel, especially to an unbelieving husband. The call for wives to live honorably is, therefore, a call to reflect the same character as Christ, living out the gospel working in them, in everyday actions.
Submission Displays Christ in Identity (v. 4-5)
The submission of a wife is not just about behavior; it is connected to her identity in Christ as well. Peter writes, “Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (v. 4).
Here, Peter points to the inner beauty that flows from a transformed heart. This beauty is not about outward adornment or external appearance, but about the hidden person of the heart, the soul that is made beautiful through union with Christ.
Peter emphasizes that this submission is not merely external. It is “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (v. 4). A gentle and quiet spirit is not about being submissive in the sense of being silent or weak, but about reflecting the meekness of Christ. Edmund Clowney rightly points out that a gentle and quiet spirit is not a feminine trait but a Christian trait, as it mirrors the character of Christ, who was gentle and lowly in heart (Matt. 11:29). Thus, this spirit of gentleness is not a passive resignation but a trust in God’s goodness and sovereignty.
Peter underscores that this inner beauty is imperishable. Unlike outward beauty, which fades with time, the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit only grows more precious in God’s sight, and more and more attractive as it displays Him. This beauty reflects the very nature of Christ. It is a beauty that points to the gospel, not just in outward actions, but in the deeper transformation of the heart.
An Example of This Identity (v. 6)
To further illustrate the kind of submission Peter is speaking of, he points to Sarah, the wife of Abraham, as an example: “And Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening” (v. 6). Sarah’s submission to Abraham was not blind or fearful, but was rooted in her trust in God’s promises.
Sarah’s example is powerful because it shows that submission is not about blindly following a person but trusting in God’s sovereignty over the circumstances of life. Even though Abraham was far from perfect, Sarah respected him and honored him as the leader of their family, demonstrating her faith in God’s plan. This is intensified when we realize that in the plan of God, which said she would produce a seed, Abraham was completely incapable. However, she still showed him the respect as if the promise of God would come through Him anyway.
Peter’s use of Sarah as an example also connects the submission of wives to the greater biblical story. Just as Sarah’s submission was a reflection of her trust in God’s promises, so too is a wife’s submission a demonstration of her trust in God’s faithfulness. It is not about perfection in the husband, but about faith in God’s provision and authority. Sarah’s submission was a visible manifestation of her identity as a woman of faith, and it serves as a model for wives even today.
While the word “lord” in modern times might seem to imply authority or dominance, in the cultural context of Sarah’s time, it was a term of respectful recognition of the husband’s position in the family. It was a form of deference to Abraham, acknowledging his leadership role as set by God.
In 1 Peter 3:6, Peter commends Sarah for her example of submission, using her as a model for Christian wives. When Peter refers to Sarah calling Abraham “lord,” he emphasizes her trust in God’s promises and her submission to Abraham, even in difficult circumstances. By citing Sarah’s example, Peter invites Christian wives to reflect this same trust in God, not because their husbands are perfect, but because their submission points to something much bigger: God’s ultimate control and provision in their lives.
A Reflection of Christ in Sacrificial Love (v. 7)
Peter’s instruction to husbands in verse 7 is just as crucial as his words to wives. The apostle writes, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (v. 7).
The apostle now turns the spotlight on husbands, calling them to an equal but distinct responsibility within marriage: to live with their wives in an understanding and honoring way.
Christ’s Sacrificial Love for the Church (v. 7)
Husbands are called to live with their wives in an understanding way, recognizing their unique strengths and weaknesses, and to honor them as equal heirs of God’s grace. This understanding is rooted in the way Christ loved the Church, giving Himself up for her. Husbands are to reflect Christ’s sacrificial love in their relationships with their wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her (Eph. 5:25). Husbands are called to know their wives and to honor them, not based on their own desires or needs, but by placing value on them as co-heirs of God’s grace. This sacrificial love is a reflection of the love Christ has for the Church.
Peter also mentions the role that honoring one’s wife plays in the spiritual health of the marriage. He writes, “So that your prayers may not be hindered.”
This phrase is debated, but in the context of Peter’s overall message, the most likely interpretation is that husbands and wives are called to pray for one another. This prayer is especially vital for the husband, as he is being exhorted to live with his wife in an understanding and honoring way. In this light, the “hindrance” in prayer refers to the dissonance between the husband’s actions and the things he ought to be praying for.
If a husband is not honoring and submitting to his wife, he is actively working against, in his behavior, what he should be praying for.
When husbands and wives live in a way that honors one another, they create an environment where prayer and spiritual growth are nurtured, rather than hindered.
The Glory of God Revealed in Marriage
Ultimately, Peter’s instructions on marriage go beyond practical advice; they point to the theological significance of marriage as a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church.
Marriage is not just a contract of mutual benefit, but a covenant that reveals the gospel to the world. In marriage, we see Christ’s love for the Church reflected in the way husbands and wives are called to love and honor one another.
Marriage is a picture of the gospel, the sacrificial love of Christ for His people, and the submission of the Church to Christ. Wives reflect the submission of the Church to Christ through their submission to their husbands, and husbands reflect Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church through their love for their wives. When we live in this way, our marriages become a powerful testimony to the world of the beauty and power of the gospel.
Marriage is not simply about personal fulfillment or social conformity; it is about displaying the glory of God. Husbands and wives are called to live in submission and love, reflecting the gospel in their relationship with each other. When we honor one another in marriage, we show the world the glory of Christ, and in doing so, we fulfill our ultimate purpose as God’s people—glorifying Him in all that we do. Marriage, at its best, becomes grace, pointing not only to the love of Christ but also to the eternal hope that we have in Him.